Frozen Embryo Transfer

After the last transfer we decided to take a month off to process our failed cycle. We scheduled a follow-up for 4/14 to discuss next steps and look for answers. We had our list of questions that unfortunately no one really has the answers to why cycles fail. You have thoughts like could my diet have been better, am I exercising enough, do I drink enough water? Unexplained infertility is just a frustrating mystery. We were faced with the decision to do a medicated cycle or a natural cycle for our next frozen transfer. Basically a medicated protocol utilizes a combination of estrogen and progesterone where natural goes by your natural ovulation while under monitoring. Dr. Luzzo thought that either one could work for us, of course my question was which one has better odds which there isn’t really an answer to either. We decided to go medicated because at this point I have just lost faith that my body can get pregnant naturally. So I would call at the start of my period and start the estrogen pills.

4/17/2021- Today I started the estrogen pills. It will be 6 pills daily, 3am and 3 pm. Lets also celebrate the fact that this medication was so easy to get approved for and we didn’t have to jump through any hoops. The pharmacist at CVS probably thought I was crazy at how grateful I was, if she only knew! I was scheduled for a ultrasound and bloodwork on 5/3 to see how my body was reacting to the pills.

5/3/2021- Ultrasound and labs all look good and this is my green light to start the dreadful Intramuscular Progesterone injections. I was warned that these injections are a doozy so I was a little nervous. Up until this point all my previous injections were subcutaneous and didn’t really phase me. Overall yeah they suck, we found what worked best was to ice before, massage the area right away, and then use a heating pad. Six days later I would be scheduled for my second transfer!!! Besides the injections this cycle was a lot less stressful and way less monitoring appointments which made it much easier with work.

5/9/2021- Mother’s Day transfer, praying this is a good sign! Also this was Dave’s first time allowed in the room with me, celebrating the small wins. It was so nice to have him there with me and not on an iPad. Everything went perfect with the transfer, we were given a picture of our beautiful thawed embryo , and told to go home and rest for the next day or two. So what was supposed to be one of the most exciting days turned into one of the hardest weekends of my life. As many know our fur baby Wesley suddenly got sick that Thursday night, it was dismissed as neck pain but he progressively got worst over the weekend. He stayed overnight at the animal hospital Friday and Saturday and they planned to do an MRI on Sunday. Praying for good news we got the call a few hours after my transfer that Wes was declining and we should come in to see him. I can’t even begin to explain how painful this day was. Wes was our whole life, we got him when we first started dating and he instantly became our child. Saying goodbye to him broke our hearts. As you can imagine I didn’t really give my body the best fighting chance for this transfer, I was barely eating and crying everyday. That week I put it in my head that this cycle would be a fail. Bloodwork was scheduled for 5/19.

5/18/2021- I managed to not take any home tests this time mostly because my head was still all over the place. I decided to take a test today just so I was prepared for the nurse call tomorrow afternoon. POSITIVE. I won’t lie and tell you I cried and jumped for joy because well we’ve been here before. Pregnancy after loss is a whole other topic that I have a lot of thoughts about. I walked downstairs to show Dave and we both just empty stared at each other not knowing how to react. Trust me I wanted to scream from the roof tops but once you see those two lines, a whole new fear enters.

5/19/2021- Bloodwork day. Anxious. I had a 7am blood draw and now the dreaded wait for the nurse call. It was 3:30pm and the nurse called with news that my hcg levels were 40.69. Boston IVF goes by anything usually over 15 is pregnant but they like to see the first beta over 100. Automatically you just start thinking the worst, with my ectopic pregnancy it started out really low also so all those emotions came rushing back. I was told to come back in 48 hours for another beta level and ideally they want to see my numbers double and over 100. Waiting…

5/21/2021- Bloodwork and wait all day for lab results. Levels are 91.54, doubled but still low. Repeat in 72 hours. More Waiting…

5/24/2021- Bloodwork. Levels jumped up to 445.6, finally a nice rise but IVF still considered this low for being 15 days post transfer. I got a call from my nurse that said they wanted to see me in Brookline for a placement sonogram and bloodwork 5/26. All I really recall from this call was the nurse informing me that the labs were to check my levels in case I needed methotrexate. Methotrexate is what was used during my ectopic pregnancy to stop the growth of the fertilized egg. Just hearing that one word terrified me. More waiting…

Someone shared this with me in my support group and it really stuck with me while we were in the waiting game:

5/26/2021- I don’t think Dave and I spoke the whole drive to Brookline, we were feeling every emotion. We were put in the room right away and the exam began. It was good news, the gestational sac was right where it needed to be. Ectopic off the table. With one relief comes the next fear, we are only 5 weeks at this point so it was still way too early to know if the pregnancy is viable. A heartbeat is usually not detected until 6/7 weeks. One victory today but more waiting, 6/2 would be our next sono.

6/2/2021- We saw the heartbeat at 6w1d, wow what a feeling of relief that was. Heartbeat was 116 and the sono tech let us watch the tiny “flicker” on the screen. Today is when things started to feel real. We would come back in 2 weeks for another sono and if everything looked good I would graduate from IVF.

6/16/2021- 8w1d. Wow this one was the first sono that actually looked like a baby, it is amazing how much can change in just 2 weeks. We saw little limbs and baby has a strong heartbeat. We received the phone call a few hours later that I was being discharged from IVF and that I would need to schedule my next appointment with an OB. I had such mixed feelings with this news, of course everyone wants to be done with the IVF process but the thought of not getting that constant monitoring and a whole team working on your case is hard. Thankfully I used to work at my OB office so I know I am in great hands but it’s still a difficult transition.

6/29/2021- Today I am 10 weeks pregnant and can officially stop ALL of my IVF medications. Up until today I have still been taking the 6 estrogen pills and the nightly progesterone injection but at this point in the pregnancy they say that the placenta takes over. Thank goodness, my poor ass is one big knot!

7/8/2021- We met with our midwife today, who I already know and love so that was pretty exciting. She came right into the room and before we even started with the whole initial appointment she was going to try to find a heartbeat for us with the doppler. Now up until this point we have only been able to see the fetal heartbeat on scans, we haven’t been able to hear anything and she did say it might be too early still. After a few minutes we heard that sweet little “galloping” noise. Wow what an emotional moment. So happy we did that right in the beginning so I could relax. We opted to schedule a NT screening because any chance I get to see baby again I will take.

7/15/2021- NT Scan 12w2d. I know I will probably say this about every scan but oh my this one was amazing. We got to watch baby for 30 minutes on a big screen, the sono tech said the baby was moving so much that it was difficult to take any measurements. Today we got to see little limbs moving all over the place and even the babies brain. Everything looked good and we got some really nice pictures.

So thankful that everything is going great, just trying to breathe and enjoy these moments. My anxiety has been better as the weeks progress but in the beginning it was really difficult. Appointments will be more spread out now, every 4 weeks and I won’t have another scan until my 20 week anatomy scan. I decided to book a private ultrasound in between just for peace of mind and I bought a home Doppler which has been great to hear the heartbeat when I’m feeling anxious. I also feel great just a little nausea in the first trimester but overall feeling so blessed.

Thank you all so much for your support and prayers, we look forward to updating soon…