“Danielle we are calling from Doctor Luzzo’s office with some unfortunate news, your HCG test came back negative”
I’ve sat here for hours trying to put in words the pain I feel. Each time I receive a call like this I lose a piece of me. It’s as if the world is just continuing around me and I am just stuck here in this dark cruel world of infertility. It has consumed my life.
3/7/2021- TRANSFER DAY. I can’t even begin to describe how excited we are, its finally HERE!!! Just to get to this day we are so grateful, there are so many variables that lead up to this. You are constantly praying that your body is responding to all the medications AND that your embryos continue to grow. We were told that today we would find out how many embryos made it to day 5 and their “grades”. I received an email Saturday morning with my transfer instructions, it was scheduled for 9am and to show up with a full bladder. Dave wouldn’t be allowed in with me but we were able to zoom during the procedure. We met with the embryologist who told us we have a “beautiful grade 4ab embryo” to transfer today. He said we had 3 definite embryos for the freezer and that they were watching a few smaller ones to see if they just needed another day. We would get an email in 2-3 days with the final freeze report. The actual procedure was about 20 minutes, it was pretty painless. We were told everything went great and to take the day to rest. On the way out the nurse gave me a picture of our tiny embryo and it all felt so real. Looking at the picture made every injection worth it. Your mind starts to get ahead of the process and you can’t help wonder could this be our baby?
I was scheduled a pregnancy test for 3/17. Now the wait.
3/19/2021- Freezer report: 8 of our embryos made it to freeze. Great news!!!
3/12/2021- The day I decided to start testing at home. People will tell you not to do this and just wait for the bloodwork but most of those people haven’t been through IVF. I went back and forth about testing early. I knew if it was negative I’d be devastated, if it was negative it could still be “too early”, if it was negative I would be better prepared for the crushing phone call, and if it was positive well I would just stress about it being an ectopic again. There’s no right way! I must have looked at this test a million times, sometimes I looked so hard I convinced myself there was a second line. I told myself I wouldn’t test anymore until bloodwork and pray that it was just too early to pick up.
3/17/2021- We were told to make a follow-up appointment with the doctor to discuss changing our plan. I was told that this month would be a “rest month”. Next step will be a frozen transfer. This seems to be a whole different batch of medications and monitoring.
Letting our hearts heal while we prepare for the next chapter of our journey. We thank you for all the prayers and messages.
The Infertility Roller Coaster 